Toddler to-do list

oh, what a way to live

I woke up. My eyes were groggy, my son was nose to nose with me, eyes open, waiting for me to wake up. I quickly closed my eyes again. He didn’t fall for it.

“Mommy, it’s morning,” he whispered. “I want breakfast! Want to come eat with me?” I gave him a big ole snuggle. I told him absolutely not, that it was far too early to get out of bed. His body agreed, and he began to doze off in my arms.

And then his eyes shot open again. “Can I hear the Pete the Cat buttons song??” he begged. I could see there would be no dissuading him. My husband called it quits and got out of bed.

I had more hope. And heavier eyelids. So I found the Pete the Cat song and drifted off while my son whisper-sang along to it.

I drifted too long. When I woke I realized that I’d left my phone unlocked. My son was using a “mathematical calculator” (what other kind is there??) because he’d somehow discovered this feature that I had no knowledge of.

And then, it began. The toddler to-do list.

Siri let me know once my alarm went off that I had several important things on my agenda today:

Real screenshot of the to-do list my son made in my reminders app

The first seems pretty easy— it was probably accomplished during the morning snuggle. Z for sleep— and it’s a small one followed by some grumpy faces (me) then hearts (my son is too cute and won me over) and then smiley faces. All the smiles are my children’s fault, ok? Green checkmark? The sense of accomplishment they feel at dragging me out of bed every morning.

The second one is relatable, and I think I did it almost as soon as I stepped on my first crumb in the kitchen. “Mmmm, no.” I might have crossed that one off the to-do list multiple times today. “Mmmm, no. That is not a battle I’m having right now. Mmmm, no, we aren’t throwing Lincoln Logs at the TV. Mmmm, no, don’t try to change your sister’s poopy diaper.”

Here’s where it gets tricky. “I’ll gb on.” Could be a simple typo: “I’ll go on?” I definitely did. The couch called my name but I was strong. I swept the floors and read books and did dishes and changed diapers and sang silly songs. If gb is some sort of initialism then I’m lost. But, I doubt it is, so I’m checking number three off my list.

Hmmm, black and orange squares followed by cryptic letters and an emoji(?) that looks like an official document. Is it time to start planning Halloween costumes so I don’t have to go to Goodwill seventy times the week before October 31? Is Jej someone I should know? Is fj some new toddler slang that everyone but me knows about? If you know, let me know, you know? Because this final chore is still under review. This unfinished task is going to haunt my reminders app for eternity.